Am I abusive?

Abuse is something that is said or done that hurts another person, but not necessarily physical violence. You may be controlling in a range of ways, which include physical, sexual, psychological, social or economic abuse or neglect of an individual. Domestic abuse is a number of abusive behaviours, both physical and non-physical, that may occur frequently or infrequently.

How do I know if I’ve abused my partner?

Read the following list of abusive behaviours and think carefully about your behaviour and relationship

Physical abuse: Slapping-punching, hitting, pushing, kicking, grabbing, using a weapon, strangling, choking.

Psychological & emotional abuse: Calling your partner names, shouting at them, smashing things, putting your partner down, standing over them, threatening to harm them, threatening to harm the children, threatening to harm yourself, controlling who they see, checking up on them

Intimidation: violence or threats of violence against children, family, friends, pets or property

Economic abuse: controlling your partners access or use of resources such as money, car and phone

Sexual abuse: Pressuring your partner, touching them against their will, forcing sex against their will, sulking or punishing them for not having sex, raping your partner, humiliating your partner sexually

Use of children: being violent or making threats of violence against children, placing children into dangerous situations, forcing children to participate in the abuse, fighting over custody or visitation, repeated undermining of your partners parenting or making false reports to Child Protection Services

If you have used any of these behaviours towards your partner or ex-partner, you are being abusive.

This list is not complete. You may be able to think of other things you’ve done and make a note of them.

Also, remember what your partner’s said about your behaviour, make a note of it and try to understand how they felt.

Any person can be the perpetrator of domestic abuse regardless of race, ethnic or religious group, class, disability or lifestyle. It can also take place in lesbian, gay, bi-sexual and transgender relationships, and involves other family members, including children.

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Page Information:
Last modification: 09:36:54, 25th November, 2008 by
Review date: 02nd February, 2009

Worcestershire County Council

Am I abusive?

How do I know if I’ve abused my partner?